At the risk of diving into an incredibly controversial topic, we take a look at an article published in the New York Times on Friday regarding dating habits of Chinese women.
The article points out that, according to a survey, 70 percent of Chinese women will only consider marrying a man who already owns property.
Among the qualities they seek in a mate, 50 percent said that financial considerations ranked above all else, with good morals and personality falling beneath the top three requirements.
Zhang Yanhong, a matchmaking consultant at Baihe, one of the country’s most popular dating sites, said many disheartened men had simply dropped out of the marriage market.
“This fixation on real estate has twisted the popular notion of love and marriage,” she said. “Women are putting economic factors above everything else when looking for a mate, and this is not a good thing for relationships or for society.”
While this article deals particularly with Chinese women dating and marrying Chinese men, the arguments are pertinent to foreigners as well. If you ask any male foreigner about their dating prowess in China, chances are they’ll tell you that they have been quite successful; nay, are even chased by many pretty women. This can lead one to believe that they are desirable, that Chinese women love foreigners, etc, but this might not necessarily be the case.
It would take a volume of books to explain the differing socio-economic, historical and cultural differences between the east and west, and no judgment is being passed here. But looking purely at the country’s economic situation, which has been poor for several hundred years, perhaps the desire to find money ahead of love is understandable.
In my time in the country, having lived in Beijing, Guangzhou, Shanghai, and Hong Kong, I’ve seen foreign friends get married and get divorced, and seen the ugly side of some marriages. I’ve also seen successful ones. (Not unlike marriages anywhere, I might add) But when two people of vastly different cultural and economic backgrounds get together, it’s even more important for both sides to begin the relationship with their eyes open: sometimes when love seems too easy, there’s a lot more to it than meets the eye.