Courtesy of Baidu Images

Since Shenzhen stepped up its crackdown on jaywalking last week, instances of people talking back to traffic cops may not have been rare, but they can seldom have been as entertaining as this.

A conversation between a jaywalker and a traffic cop which was captured on camera has gone big in national media. Initially, she was excited to be on television, and in the subsequent argument, the attractive young jaywalker managed to exasperate the male traffic cop with her twisted logic and her claim that she would continue jaywalking no matter what.

Here is a translation/transcript of the conversation that you can hear on Anhui Satellite Television. The footage had subtitles and soundtracks added to it to make parts of it appear like a Taiwan comedy show, raising some questions as to whether it’s genuine.

But if a scriptwriter came up with this, he or she should be on the next plane to Hollywood:

Traffic cop: You, you you. Come here. (She stops.) Do you see the traffic light?
Jaywalker: Yes.
Traffic cop: What colour is it?
Jaywalker: Two red, one green.
Traffic cop: Two red? How are there two reds? Look at that light. It’s the one for pedestrians, and it’s red. You’ve walked through a red light. Do you know?
(She looks at the camera.)

Jaywalker: (smiles at the camera) Hey, you’re filming this. Which channel will it be on?
Traffic cop: Errr, never mind which channel. I just want to tell you that today this particular violation is being cracked down on.
Jaywalker: Actually, I’ve always jaywalked.
Traffic cop: You’ve always jaywalked? And you don’t mind admitting this in front of a cop?
Jaywalker: I know the rules say I shouldn’t jaywalk. Jaywalking reflects on the poor behaviour of the Chinese public.
Traffic cop: Yes, yes.
Jaywalker: But I am a person of poor character and morals.
Traffic cop: (Laughs) Then, do you think people like us should follow your example?
Jaywalker: No, people shouldn’t be like me. A person of such low character shouldn’t be imitated. But as long as people like me account for a minority in society, it doesn’t matter. People shouldn’t jaywalk.
Traffic cop: Today, at this junction, we are targeting jaywalkers. You are the first.
Jaywalker: Yes! What an honour.

Then the footage cuts to a few seconds later.

Jaywalker: If a pedestrian dies as a result of jaywalking, then that is their own problem.
(The cop is now utterly bemused.)
Jaywalker: And the drivers who hit and kill them are good. They shouldn’t be punished. You don’t need to worry about me, this is my own life I’m endangering.
Traffic cop: So we shouldn’t care if you get hit and killed?
Jaywalker: Yes, don’t worry. Because when I jaywalk, I am committing a crime. If I die then so be it. Police might go looking for the vehicle that killed me, but actually the driver will have done nothing wrong. They will have driven through a green light.
Traffic cop: Okay, so if a vehicle hits you, should the driver pay you compensation?
Jaywalker: Why would I demand compensation?
Traffic cop: If a vehicle hits a pedestrian who’s breaking the law, the driver can be considered up to 10% responsible.
Jaywalker: Just 10%?
Traffic cop: (Angry) Having to pay compensation can be a devastating thing for a person! Do you want to see a driver hit a pedestrian on the road and then….
Jaywalker: What a fortunate thing that would be!
Traffic cop: Yes!
Jaywalker: For training purposes, this footage should end with me looking at the camera and saying “I will never do it again” before disappearing discreetly.
Traffic cop: You want this to be edited into a story.
Jaywalker: I wouldn’t mind taking time to cooperate with such a project.
Traffic cop: Who would cooperate with you? I’m here to do a job. We’re not acting in a TV show.
Jaywalker: Okay.
Traffic cop: I hope you can….
Jaywalker: It doesn’t matter what you hope.

The footage ends there and the anchorwoman says: “I’m speechless. Is this real or fake.”