UPDATE: We’ve got more pics, and they are everything your imagination could have ever asked for. Congratulations to the fabulous couple, Desmond and Neves! Good luck on naming your baby!

Demonstrating that China has taken the position as world leader in the battle of showmanship previously dominated by gangster rappers and flamboyant homosexual pianists, the city of Zhongshan was the location of an extravagant wedding that featured a blushing bride not in white, but gold. Pounds upon pounds of gold.

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The evening of Friday, May 23 was fabulous. A lavish wedding consisting of a wedding party of 20 bridesmaids and bridegrooms—fabulous. A foreign groom wearing seven to eight gold necklaces—fabulous. The parking lot to the wedding reception filled with luxury cars of brands like Porsche, Ferrari and Lamborghini—all fabulous. In a detail not lost to the press, the fact that many of these cars were themselves adorned with vanity plates of lucky number “8′s” and “6′s”—absolutely fabulous.

A fabulous wedding like this deserves a fabulous bride, and this one complied by wearing the proper gold required: a gold belt, gold necklaces, gold rings on fingers of both hands, and a total of 70 gold bracelets worn on her wrists and around her neck.

RELATED: Zhongshan Wedding Guests Continue to Eat at Flooded Banquet 

A reporter with Guangzhou Daily confirmedsuch fabulousness had indeed occurred by contacting the bride’s father Mr Li, a retired general manager of a water company in Shaxi County. Li fully admits that his daughter was married in such a fashion, and does not mind the public knowing about it. Li said,

They wanted this type of wedding; I have many foreign relatives; so what if I want to act like a traditional old fogey.

“Traditional”? Gold is “traditional”?  Kim Kardashian is a throwback to a more conservative time? It must be her orthodoxy upon rejecting cotton blends. During this time of austerity measures and economic slowdowns, public displays of wealth aren’t taken very well by the public, so we imagine the public reception to this wedding won’t be so fabulous.

Video with additional car footage here.

UPDATE 2, 10:36pm May 26, 2014: This topic has exploded in popularity on Weibo throughout the day. As of this update, the Sina Guangdong version of this post currently has been forwarded 8713 times, received 6666 likes, and 10034 comments.

Here are some select comments from that post:

郑梦琳这个傻子_：
Please, this just a custom, alright? Many young married Guangdong women do this! What’s more, all of those many (bracelets) weren’t bought by herself, but given to her by her many relatives; it represents paying your respects to the person being gifted. As for the giving of diamonds, since this is a custom, the traditional concept is to use gold jewelry as the foundation.

木子小马儿：
Those that don’t understand this is a traditional custom should not talk out of turn. Even ordinary families will carry gold bracelets, and more so in wealthy families. These were given to her by her family, and are paid back a gift in return…

清–在线：
This is just a custom that’s done in Zhongshan. Relatives of the bride and groom give them, friends give them as gifts. Some are rented, and some are fake. Anyhow, you should wear more, (not less). The more gold you wear, the more blessed you will be.

雪舞依然：
What she’s wearing, in fact, is armor.

浪子心声138：
This is a crazy person, they have simply gone insane.

楊大H：
That car, that cello, and all that nouveau riche gold: it just doesn’t add up.[sweatface]

番薯煎堆要咸定要甜：
Now that’s what you call love!!!!!

As every woman in Zhongshan has a father who is the general manager of a water plant, we’re sure this is a common custom.

Photos: People’s Daily via Twitter, Guangzhou Daily Report via Weibo, Sina Weibo, Sina Guangdong Weibo